percy's emotional volley back is something he's not immune to, and he's not an idiot, either. he did just die. he did just pull a vax'ildan, running straight into the abyss of danger without any warning and come out of it barely breathing. and maybe where percy's from, vax might have bristled harder, might have just told him to fuck off, would've taken every emotional plea and ignored it, because percy broke his trust and it took a long time to return. hearing you are the only person i will trust now, in this bizarre situation, isn't just fancy words. it's a necessity, and vax knows that.
but that's the thing. it doesn't matter because - ]
-- I'm fucking dead, Percival. [ the phrase is delivered with that same fierce emotion on his end, as vax sets the glass down hard on the closest table, lifting his head to lock eyes with him from underneath his hood. ] Done. Gone. Not like you.
The Raven Queen called me, and I fucking answered.
[ the ferocity in the words belays the truth of it all, too. it's raw, open, and still so fresh - being brought here when he'd finally accepted his fate, only to meet a percy who didn't even remember it, to see what he saw in that strange little trip was a lot. vax'ildan clambered to the top of the steps of grief, and then tumbled all the way back down to the bottom.
that same low ferocity stays in his voice. no more walking on eggshells. ] Whatever happens to me here doesn't matter, because I'm already gone.
[ but you, he doesn't say. my sister needs you, and you will find your way home. ]
[ percy's expression doesn't falter openly, not here, not as he listens to vax and every single one of his words like a knife. he watches as his hood provides all the insight he needs, the sharp glint of his eyes beneath the shadow. the raven queen. the way that vax says her name is like a freshly opened wound, like percy may as well have rebroken his leg himself.
he looks downwards a moment at his lap. ]
I don't...
[ know what to say.
that there has to be some other way? that vax is just pulling his leg (hah!) that this is some sort of sick joke, but instead he's holding onto his glass with what could be a white knuckled grip, it's hard to say with his glove still on. he lets that sit, lets it truly dig into his brain with sharp talons and the taste of blood in the back of his throat and the sounds of her voice.
and then. ]
I don't care. That isn't an excuse to say what happens to you doesn't matter here under my eye.
[ he murmurs ]
You're here now. You're alive now.
[ he is not looking up. he's staring at his glass. he does not accept this. ]
[ alive, maybe. he's not a revenant anymore, at least - not that percy needs to know that part. he needs to eat, breathe, sleep here. he could die here, as easily as anyone else. ]
I'm not afraid of dying.
[ not under his eye, not under anyone else's, but it's returned with a steadiness and maturity that differs from his usual "running-into-the-fire-face-first-and-coming-out-barely-alive". if percy won't accept it, then vax will, because vax already has. he's long since accepted it, and made his resolute goal here much of the same. the raven queen will come find him eventually. percival has to come home. he will do anything to ensure that is how their time in the prism ends.
death isn't something to be afraid of. it simply is.
but, percy's reactions are hard to miss. vax is observant (though never as much as vex'ahlia), and he knows percy. he knows what he's coming from. (but even still, it surprises him, sometimes. percy is his brother, and he knows that, but sometimes...
well. sometimes he remembers telling him he'd never have his trust again, and now, how silly that seems.)
after a long pause, he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face, and then drinks from the bottle. ]
...I'm not telling you anything else. That was an inevitability, Percy - the rest of it, you've got to live on your own.
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no subject
percy's emotional volley back is something he's not immune to, and he's not an idiot, either. he did just die. he did just pull a vax'ildan, running straight into the abyss of danger without any warning and come out of it barely breathing. and maybe where percy's from, vax might have bristled harder, might have just told him to fuck off, would've taken every emotional plea and ignored it, because percy broke his trust and it took a long time to return. hearing you are the only person i will trust now, in this bizarre situation, isn't just fancy words. it's a necessity, and vax knows that.
but that's the thing. it doesn't matter because - ]
-- I'm fucking dead, Percival. [ the phrase is delivered with that same fierce emotion on his end, as vax sets the glass down hard on the closest table, lifting his head to lock eyes with him from underneath his hood. ] Done. Gone. Not like you.
The Raven Queen called me, and I fucking answered.
[ the ferocity in the words belays the truth of it all, too. it's raw, open, and still so fresh - being brought here when he'd finally accepted his fate, only to meet a percy who didn't even remember it, to see what he saw in that strange little trip was a lot. vax'ildan clambered to the top of the steps of grief, and then tumbled all the way back down to the bottom.
that same low ferocity stays in his voice. no more walking on eggshells. ] Whatever happens to me here doesn't matter, because I'm already gone.
[ but you, he doesn't say. my sister needs you, and you will find your way home. ]
no subject
he looks downwards a moment at his lap. ]
I don't...
[ know what to say.
that there has to be some other way? that vax is just pulling his leg (hah!) that this is some sort of sick joke, but instead he's holding onto his glass with what could be a white knuckled grip, it's hard to say with his glove still on. he lets that sit, lets it truly dig into his brain with sharp talons and the taste of blood in the back of his throat and the sounds of her voice.
and then. ]
I don't care. That isn't an excuse to say what happens to you doesn't matter here under my eye.
[ he murmurs ]
You're here now. You're alive now.
[ he is not looking up. he's staring at his glass. he does not accept this. ]
no subject
I'm not afraid of dying.
[ not under his eye, not under anyone else's, but it's returned with a steadiness and maturity that differs from his usual "running-into-the-fire-face-first-and-coming-out-barely-alive". if percy won't accept it, then vax will, because vax already has. he's long since accepted it, and made his resolute goal here much of the same. the raven queen will come find him eventually. percival has to come home. he will do anything to ensure that is how their time in the prism ends.
death isn't something to be afraid of. it simply is.
but, percy's reactions are hard to miss. vax is observant (though never as much as vex'ahlia), and he knows percy. he knows what he's coming from. (but even still, it surprises him, sometimes. percy is his brother, and he knows that, but sometimes...
well. sometimes he remembers telling him he'd never have his trust again, and now, how silly that seems.)
after a long pause, he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face, and then drinks from the bottle. ]
...I'm not telling you anything else. That was an inevitability, Percy - the rest of it, you've got to live on your own.