If you made out with him on your deathbed, you probably are.
[ this is teasing - he has to stand on his tiptoes to lean over him and say it to his face, reaching up and playfully nudging that same hand against his cheek before he goes back to combing through his hair. Just Saying!!!
...we have all known each other for some time. Hythlodaeus and I share a keen aetheric sight, although truth be told, his is more powerful between the two of us. It was he who was offered the seat of Emet-Selch... but he declined, and raised my name in consideration instead.
Azem gathered those we had assisted, when they dragged me into their travels around Etheirys, to support my nomination. I hardly think anything I did to have been worthy of such support, but...
As you well know, I now hold the seat in Hythlodaeus' place, though I've never understood why he would decline. He could have done well, had he a mind to.
[ there's genuine fondness in the warmth of vax's voice; he listens to this description, clever fingers winding through his hair. ]
... Imagine he declined it because he saw your potential. [ aw. soft. it reminds him for a moment of percy, actually, but he won't say that. ] You're happy in your seat, aren't you?
... People that love each other do stuff like that for each other, y'know. [ he reaches over to prod him gently in the forehead. ] Think whatever your subconscious dreamed up was right on target.
[ quiet is fine. he watches the green petals fall, for a moment, and then just sort of settles there.
... ]
's a good question. [ a little softer, to match his tone, though it's not sad, or anything. ] I'm a dead man walking. Celestial or otherwise.
[ how does he really explain it, though? how does he say things like, this could be the last time i'll ever get to experience something even remotely close to this, or you understand me in a way no one else does, really, or i don't want to question it, i don't want to face it.
... it's his turn this time - vax tucks his head to the side and coughs, out of the way. a blue flower petal flutters free of his mouth, and he lets it go, lifting his hands away to wipe his mouth. ]
...I'm not gonna lie to you, and say that I don't feel that way. If you don't, then - I'll back off, and you won't hear anything of it. But shit like that's got to get said. At least... for me, it has to be.
[he reaches a hand out. lets that petal settle in it, glancing at its color.]
...I do not think I wish for you to back off, no.
[he likes this, he thinks. enjoys it. vax understands him more than anyone else here can, and despite how short a time it's been... it's good. he feels warm, being close like this. there's no discomfort in letting vax curl close to sleep, and-- well, there was last wednesday, wasn't there. vax already has more of him than most could ever hope for.]
But we each have a duty to return to if we may escape this place, do we not.
[ the petal settles, then - a couple of delicate petals of a blue hyacinth. the colors all wrong - so blue it's nearly black.
...always comes back to that, doesn't it? a duty like a shackle - though, vax hasn't considered it a shackle in some time. the raven queen's arms wait for him, the home he found himself in shadowfell; his soul belongs to her, and his heart, too. willingly, now, because he'd finally accepted his position. the prism has been a strange little interlude, somewhere between life and death, but it has never been permanent.
... but.
this isn't the first time vax has walked down this road, either, is it?
there's a pause as emet answers - though he'd pulled his hands back, he doesn't go much farther, just looking at the petal in his hand. ]
... Don't think a duty has to stop those sort of things, really. I don't love Keyleth or Vex any less.
[in his own world, even if he is separated from them by death. and emet-selch-- his home needs him. in the future more than ever.]
I suppose-
[he falls quiet, again, searching for the words. more flowers threaten to make their way out, in the meantime.]
I suppose what I wish to ask is whether you expect to leave this behind.
[whatever it is that they have, thus far. whether vax intends to attempt to find some way to connect past this, or whether they will just... return to their respective duties, and bring it to a close.]
he smiles, a little. lopsided, but no less warm - it's an honest look. ]
No. Don't think I could if I wanted to. [ no, definitely not. you can't just walk away from things like this, can you? all of the people vax'ildan has ever loved - vex. keyleth. vox machina, as a whole, gilmore, kynan - they make up the person that he is today, make up a stitch of the tapestry that is his entire person, fate touched or otherwise. they don't just vanish. they never will.
he lifts a hand, again, and nudges back a lock of emet's hair from when he looked back, like emet did to him weeks ago. ] You?
[ you know, it's so strange. vax knows at home, there's no visiting for him - if he ever wants to see keyleth or vex or percy or any of them, he'll do it in the guise of a raven, praying maybe they'll recognize him. but the unique station of emet's position means something like that? that's possible.
it brings a little bit of a grin to his face. ]
That an invitation?
[ flirty and more normal, again - that warmth leaks into it obviously, as he leans over him, a little closer. frankly, he'd like to get to meet this hythlodaeus, too. ] I accept it. No take backs.
[ heh.
(as long as his mom the raven queen lets him - but vax has a feeling a business meeting like that'd be pretty hard to turn down, every once in a while.) ]
I've not even made a formal offer, and already you are inviting yourself...? Absolutely incorrigible.
[he huffs, leaning back into him as vax shifts. yes, they'll both be busy-- but really, he thinks that of all deities, surely the raven queen will allow a champion of hers to meet with the underworld's keeper.]
[ there's a little ripple, thinking about - well, thinking about a hundred years from now, about bringing vex and percy through shadowfell, and about thousands and thousands of years, bringing keyleth. she'd like emet, he thinks - he's similar to percival, and the two of them are as thick as thieves. the idea warms him in a way that's nearly visible, brings that tickle of a cough to his chest, but he doesn't let it come up and just soaks in the feeling, instead, smiling.
emet can lean back. he's steady, still. ]
Good. [ good. that feels good, to hear.
there's a beat, and he leans over like he's about to smooch him? and then pauses, thoughtful. ]
Maybe I'll kiss him then.
[ hehehe
he steals a kiss from emet before he gets the chance to protest. :3c ]
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he waits for him to finish, and reaches over to nudge a petal away from his face, just raising an eyebrow. like ok, bud ] You were saying?
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[he hates these flowers so much.]
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[ this is teasing - he has to stand on his tiptoes to lean over him and say it to his face, reaching up and playfully nudging that same hand against his cheek before he goes back to combing through his hair. Just Saying!!!
anyway. ]
You think he'd say it back?
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...I do not know. He kissed me in turn, or that vision of him did, but this does not mean there is any bearing on how his true self would react.
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[ time to listen. he's good at that, after all - just combing his fingers through his hair and starting to braid it back from behind his face. ]
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Azem gathered those we had assisted, when they dragged me into their travels around Etheirys, to support my nomination. I hardly think anything I did to have been worthy of such support, but...
As you well know, I now hold the seat in Hythlodaeus' place, though I've never understood why he would decline. He could have done well, had he a mind to.
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[ there's genuine fondness in the warmth of vax's voice; he listens to this description, clever fingers winding through his hair. ]
... Imagine he declined it because he saw your potential. [ aw. soft. it reminds him for a moment of percy, actually, but he won't say that. ] You're happy in your seat, aren't you?
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...still. Had he not stood by for me, I think he would serve equally well as Emet-Selch. He has ever worked better with others.
[hyth is just better with people, than he is. better at reading them, at knowing what to say, at-- making friends.]
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... People that love each other do stuff like that for each other, y'know. [ he reaches over to prod him gently in the forehead. ] Think whatever your subconscious dreamed up was right on target.
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[he shifts slightly uncomfortably, for a moment, then just sighs as he leans back into vax's hands. don't PROD HIM ugh.]
And you- meant it, when you said the same. Didn't you.
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I did.
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he remains quiet, a few moments, before:]
Vax, what precisely are we doing?
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... ]
's a good question. [ a little softer, to match his tone, though it's not sad, or anything. ] I'm a dead man walking. Celestial or otherwise.
[ how does he really explain it, though? how does he say things like, this could be the last time i'll ever get to experience something even remotely close to this, or you understand me in a way no one else does, really, or i don't want to question it, i don't want to face it.
... it's his turn this time - vax tucks his head to the side and coughs, out of the way. a blue flower petal flutters free of his mouth, and he lets it go, lifting his hands away to wipe his mouth. ]
...I'm not gonna lie to you, and say that I don't feel that way. If you don't, then - I'll back off, and you won't hear anything of it. But shit like that's got to get said. At least... for me, it has to be.
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...I do not think I wish for you to back off, no.
[he likes this, he thinks. enjoys it. vax understands him more than anyone else here can, and despite how short a time it's been... it's good. he feels warm, being close like this. there's no discomfort in letting vax curl close to sleep, and-- well, there was last wednesday, wasn't there. vax already has more of him than most could ever hope for.]
But we each have a duty to return to if we may escape this place, do we not.
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[ the petal settles, then - a couple of delicate petals of a blue hyacinth. the colors all wrong - so blue it's nearly black.
...always comes back to that, doesn't it? a duty like a shackle - though, vax hasn't considered it a shackle in some time. the raven queen's arms wait for him, the home he found himself in shadowfell; his soul belongs to her, and his heart, too. willingly, now, because he'd finally accepted his position. the prism has been a strange little interlude, somewhere between life and death, but it has never been permanent.
... but.
this isn't the first time vax has walked down this road, either, is it?
there's a pause as emet answers - though he'd pulled his hands back, he doesn't go much farther, just looking at the petal in his hand. ]
... Don't think a duty has to stop those sort of things, really. I don't love Keyleth or Vex any less.
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[in his own world, even if he is separated from them by death. and emet-selch-- his home needs him. in the future more than ever.]
I suppose-
[he falls quiet, again, searching for the words. more flowers threaten to make their way out, in the meantime.]
I suppose what I wish to ask is whether you expect to leave this behind.
[whatever it is that they have, thus far. whether vax intends to attempt to find some way to connect past this, or whether they will just... return to their respective duties, and bring it to a close.]
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he smiles, a little. lopsided, but no less warm - it's an honest look. ]
No. Don't think I could if I wanted to. [ no, definitely not. you can't just walk away from things like this, can you? all of the people vax'ildan has ever loved - vex. keyleth. vox machina, as a whole, gilmore, kynan - they make up the person that he is today, make up a stitch of the tapestry that is his entire person, fate touched or otherwise. they don't just vanish. they never will.
he lifts a hand, again, and nudges back a lock of emet's hair from when he looked back, like emet did to him weeks ago. ] You?
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[he says, head tilted ever so slightly into vax's touch.
it isn't a direct answer, maybe, but... he thinks this is answer enough.]
Frankly, the two of you would be a danger to my very sanity were I to allow you to meet, so I've no idea what I'm thinking.
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it brings a little bit of a grin to his face. ]
That an invitation?
[ flirty and more normal, again - that warmth leaks into it obviously, as he leans over him, a little closer. frankly, he'd like to get to meet this hythlodaeus, too. ] I accept it. No take backs.
[ heh.
(as long as
his momthe raven queen lets him - but vax has a feeling a business meeting like that'd be pretty hard to turn down, every once in a while.) ]no subject
[he huffs, leaning back into him as vax shifts. yes, they'll both be busy-- but really, he thinks that of all deities, surely the raven queen will allow a champion of hers to meet with the underworld's keeper.]
...we shall try to find a way, then.
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emet can lean back. he's steady, still. ]
Good. [ good. that feels good, to hear.
there's a beat, and he leans over like he's about to smooch him? and then pauses, thoughtful. ]
Maybe I'll kiss him then.
[ hehehe
he steals a kiss from emet before he gets the chance to protest. :3c ]