Hah, you could always ask Crow-san or Suki, I bet.
[heliotropes your booze. but buzen will just listen thoughtfully even as he takes his own sippy]
... I had a bad feeling, ever since what happened to us.
I've never even known hate, and they made me feel it. Contempt, bitterness, warped me into something I'm not - it's like they melted my steel into what they wanted.
Birdie's brought me one or two. [ crow solidarity: sharing shiny things
anyway, vax glances at him out of the corner of his eyes as he speaks, thoughtful. ]
I did too. [ re: the bad feeling, anyway. ] Almost sucks more for you guys - at least we're used to it.
[ his swords :( ]
...This place - whatever it is doing, whatever it did to Kazuma, it used the same thing against us when we disappeared, too. Right down to fighting people we cared about to the death where one of them couldn't stop themselves. Kinda shit designed to break people.
... it's good for us to learn new things. But I wish that it would happen naturally. I'm not against the idea of hatred - I just don't know if I want it forced upon me.
[sort of like what happened to kazuma and ryu, he imagines. he frowns, feeling more than a little sour]
Yeah. Vin mentioned a similar thing to me. It'll make it harder for people to trust each other too.
[ trust is such a funny word. such an important, fragile little thing, so easily broken, so hard to make. it's always been that way for vax; maybe because of that he's lucky that he's been brought to this fucked up place with people he cares for. or maybe, maybe that just makes it worse.
vin's name visibly makes him react, brows knitting together in concern for a moment, but he doesn't say anything of it, just looking down at the tea. ]
Guess that's the point. Place wants to suck us in, eat us alive. Split the party, makes it easier to pick them off.
and then he just shrugs and leans back a little - ]
So we make it impossible, right? We stick together stubbornly, and don't let anyone get left behind. No matter what comes, we accept it, even if it's hard to look at... and endure it together.
At least - that's what I know about hopeless situations.
Sometimes it makes a difference just to have someone at your side.
[ buzen really out here saying this otome game shit i love him
that optimism feels familiar - vax can't help the wry sort of smile that comes onto his face. maybe it's less misguided than his own, but that's what he thinks, too. ]
Yeah. Could do worse, far as comrades go. [ heh. ] We're a bunch of assholes, but, maybe we can pull it off.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[heliotropes your booze. but buzen will just listen thoughtfully even as he takes his own sippy]
... I had a bad feeling, ever since what happened to us.
I've never even known hate, and they made me feel it. Contempt, bitterness, warped me into something I'm not - it's like they melted my steel into what they wanted.
So... what more for humans?
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anyway, vax glances at him out of the corner of his eyes as he speaks, thoughtful. ]
I did too. [ re: the bad feeling, anyway. ] Almost sucks more for you guys - at least we're used to it.
[ his swords :( ]
...This place - whatever it is doing, whatever it did to Kazuma, it used the same thing against us when we disappeared, too. Right down to fighting people we cared about to the death where one of them couldn't stop themselves. Kinda shit designed to break people.
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... it's good for us to learn new things. But I wish that it would happen naturally. I'm not against the idea of hatred - I just don't know if I want it forced upon me.
[sort of like what happened to kazuma and ryu, he imagines. he frowns, feeling more than a little sour]
Yeah. Vin mentioned a similar thing to me. It'll make it harder for people to trust each other too.
Or... want to trust at all.
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vin's name visibly makes him react, brows knitting together in concern for a moment, but he doesn't say anything of it, just looking down at the tea. ]
Guess that's the point. Place wants to suck us in, eat us alive. Split the party, makes it easier to pick them off.
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and then he just shrugs and leans back a little - ]
So we make it impossible, right? We stick together stubbornly, and don't let anyone get left behind. No matter what comes, we accept it, even if it's hard to look at... and endure it together.
At least - that's what I know about hopeless situations.
Sometimes it makes a difference just to have someone at your side.
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that optimism feels familiar - vax can't help the wry sort of smile that comes onto his face. maybe it's less misguided than his own, but that's what he thinks, too. ]
Yeah. Could do worse, far as comrades go. [ heh. ] We're a bunch of assholes, but, maybe we can pull it off.
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that makes him laugh - a bunch of assholes?]
Really? I think most people here are pretty nice... I think that's why it's even easier for me to have faith.
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[ very playful, teasing, elbowing at him! ]
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Why wouldn't I? You're a pretty clearly kind person, Vax-san...