[ he's still snickering, but vax makes a concerted effort to put his arms around his shoulders as he's trying to get away. he is shaken off easily... but this is
so funny. it's cute!!! ] Did you not know that? About your friend?
...no. We always simply... were. I paid no mind to it, with him or with Azem.
[these things happen, you see, when you are emotionally repressed.]
You reminded me of-- the way I felt toward them, and then... what followed, followed.
[because sometimes you go 'ah yes this person reminds me of my terrible gremlin friends who i care about' and then you make out with that person and have to reconsider some things about friendships]
[ glad to be your emotional support bird and also your therapist, maybe?
he will stop hanging off of his shoulders like a dead weight of a couple of grapes, and returns to his set, instead, propping his chin in his hand. amused!! genuinely amused. ]
Guess you'll have to do it for real when you get out of here, huh? 's good for you.
[ once emet's settled - and thank goodness for that, frankly, because it lowers their height difference to something much more managable - vax is the one to get up, resting a foot on the back of the chair and then pushing up to balance on it, so he can...
...get his fingers into his hair. it's not the first time he's done this, and it likely won't be the last, but vax's hands are steady, and the gesture is more soothing than anything else. ]
So, you're in love with your friend. Sounds like you have been for a while, maybe just didn't know how to put words to it. Is that right?
If you made out with him on your deathbed, you probably are.
[ this is teasing - he has to stand on his tiptoes to lean over him and say it to his face, reaching up and playfully nudging that same hand against his cheek before he goes back to combing through his hair. Just Saying!!!
...we have all known each other for some time. Hythlodaeus and I share a keen aetheric sight, although truth be told, his is more powerful between the two of us. It was he who was offered the seat of Emet-Selch... but he declined, and raised my name in consideration instead.
Azem gathered those we had assisted, when they dragged me into their travels around Etheirys, to support my nomination. I hardly think anything I did to have been worthy of such support, but...
As you well know, I now hold the seat in Hythlodaeus' place, though I've never understood why he would decline. He could have done well, had he a mind to.
[ there's genuine fondness in the warmth of vax's voice; he listens to this description, clever fingers winding through his hair. ]
... Imagine he declined it because he saw your potential. [ aw. soft. it reminds him for a moment of percy, actually, but he won't say that. ] You're happy in your seat, aren't you?
... People that love each other do stuff like that for each other, y'know. [ he reaches over to prod him gently in the forehead. ] Think whatever your subconscious dreamed up was right on target.
[ quiet is fine. he watches the green petals fall, for a moment, and then just sort of settles there.
... ]
's a good question. [ a little softer, to match his tone, though it's not sad, or anything. ] I'm a dead man walking. Celestial or otherwise.
[ how does he really explain it, though? how does he say things like, this could be the last time i'll ever get to experience something even remotely close to this, or you understand me in a way no one else does, really, or i don't want to question it, i don't want to face it.
... it's his turn this time - vax tucks his head to the side and coughs, out of the way. a blue flower petal flutters free of his mouth, and he lets it go, lifting his hands away to wipe his mouth. ]
...I'm not gonna lie to you, and say that I don't feel that way. If you don't, then - I'll back off, and you won't hear anything of it. But shit like that's got to get said. At least... for me, it has to be.
[he reaches a hand out. lets that petal settle in it, glancing at its color.]
...I do not think I wish for you to back off, no.
[he likes this, he thinks. enjoys it. vax understands him more than anyone else here can, and despite how short a time it's been... it's good. he feels warm, being close like this. there's no discomfort in letting vax curl close to sleep, and-- well, there was last wednesday, wasn't there. vax already has more of him than most could ever hope for.]
But we each have a duty to return to if we may escape this place, do we not.
[ the petal settles, then - a couple of delicate petals of a blue hyacinth. the colors all wrong - so blue it's nearly black.
...always comes back to that, doesn't it? a duty like a shackle - though, vax hasn't considered it a shackle in some time. the raven queen's arms wait for him, the home he found himself in shadowfell; his soul belongs to her, and his heart, too. willingly, now, because he'd finally accepted his position. the prism has been a strange little interlude, somewhere between life and death, but it has never been permanent.
... but.
this isn't the first time vax has walked down this road, either, is it?
there's a pause as emet answers - though he'd pulled his hands back, he doesn't go much farther, just looking at the petal in his hand. ]
... Don't think a duty has to stop those sort of things, really. I don't love Keyleth or Vex any less.
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WHEEZE ] Sorry - sorry. Ahh - Hades, phrasing... [ and is still gigglesnorting ]
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he shoves at him and gets up to make tea]
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[ he's still snickering, but vax makes a concerted effort to put his arms around his shoulders as he's trying to get away. he is shaken off easily... but this is
so funny. it's cute!!! ] Did you not know that? About your friend?
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[these things happen, you see, when you are emotionally repressed.]
You reminded me of-- the way I felt toward them, and then... what followed, followed.
[because sometimes you go 'ah yes this person reminds me of my terrible gremlin friends who i care about' and then you make out with that person and have to reconsider some things about friendships]
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he will stop hanging off of his shoulders like a dead weight of a couple of grapes, and returns to his set, instead, propping his chin in his hand. amused!! genuinely amused. ]
Guess you'll have to do it for real when you get out of here, huh? 's good for you.
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[should he?? what is he doing, exactly. what does he want to do-- and for that matter, what are they doing here, right now?]
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I can almost hear you thinking. Come back here.
[ he pats the chair emet was sitting in a few minutes ago. ]
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Very well, then.
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...get his fingers into his hair. it's not the first time he's done this, and it likely won't be the last, but vax's hands are steady, and the gesture is more soothing than anything else. ]
So, you're in love with your friend. Sounds like you have been for a while, maybe just didn't know how to put words to it. Is that right?
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I-- well. I do not know about-
[he's about to say he isn't sure if it's love, exactly, but he's interrupted as he coughs vibrant petals, pink and soft purple.]
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he waits for him to finish, and reaches over to nudge a petal away from his face, just raising an eyebrow. like ok, bud ] You were saying?
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[he hates these flowers so much.]
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[ this is teasing - he has to stand on his tiptoes to lean over him and say it to his face, reaching up and playfully nudging that same hand against his cheek before he goes back to combing through his hair. Just Saying!!!
anyway. ]
You think he'd say it back?
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...I do not know. He kissed me in turn, or that vision of him did, but this does not mean there is any bearing on how his true self would react.
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[ time to listen. he's good at that, after all - just combing his fingers through his hair and starting to braid it back from behind his face. ]
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Azem gathered those we had assisted, when they dragged me into their travels around Etheirys, to support my nomination. I hardly think anything I did to have been worthy of such support, but...
As you well know, I now hold the seat in Hythlodaeus' place, though I've never understood why he would decline. He could have done well, had he a mind to.
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[ there's genuine fondness in the warmth of vax's voice; he listens to this description, clever fingers winding through his hair. ]
... Imagine he declined it because he saw your potential. [ aw. soft. it reminds him for a moment of percy, actually, but he won't say that. ] You're happy in your seat, aren't you?
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...still. Had he not stood by for me, I think he would serve equally well as Emet-Selch. He has ever worked better with others.
[hyth is just better with people, than he is. better at reading them, at knowing what to say, at-- making friends.]
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... People that love each other do stuff like that for each other, y'know. [ he reaches over to prod him gently in the forehead. ] Think whatever your subconscious dreamed up was right on target.
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[he shifts slightly uncomfortably, for a moment, then just sighs as he leans back into vax's hands. don't PROD HIM ugh.]
And you- meant it, when you said the same. Didn't you.
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I did.
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he remains quiet, a few moments, before:]
Vax, what precisely are we doing?
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... ]
's a good question. [ a little softer, to match his tone, though it's not sad, or anything. ] I'm a dead man walking. Celestial or otherwise.
[ how does he really explain it, though? how does he say things like, this could be the last time i'll ever get to experience something even remotely close to this, or you understand me in a way no one else does, really, or i don't want to question it, i don't want to face it.
... it's his turn this time - vax tucks his head to the side and coughs, out of the way. a blue flower petal flutters free of his mouth, and he lets it go, lifting his hands away to wipe his mouth. ]
...I'm not gonna lie to you, and say that I don't feel that way. If you don't, then - I'll back off, and you won't hear anything of it. But shit like that's got to get said. At least... for me, it has to be.
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...I do not think I wish for you to back off, no.
[he likes this, he thinks. enjoys it. vax understands him more than anyone else here can, and despite how short a time it's been... it's good. he feels warm, being close like this. there's no discomfort in letting vax curl close to sleep, and-- well, there was last wednesday, wasn't there. vax already has more of him than most could ever hope for.]
But we each have a duty to return to if we may escape this place, do we not.
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[ the petal settles, then - a couple of delicate petals of a blue hyacinth. the colors all wrong - so blue it's nearly black.
...always comes back to that, doesn't it? a duty like a shackle - though, vax hasn't considered it a shackle in some time. the raven queen's arms wait for him, the home he found himself in shadowfell; his soul belongs to her, and his heart, too. willingly, now, because he'd finally accepted his position. the prism has been a strange little interlude, somewhere between life and death, but it has never been permanent.
... but.
this isn't the first time vax has walked down this road, either, is it?
there's a pause as emet answers - though he'd pulled his hands back, he doesn't go much farther, just looking at the petal in his hand. ]
... Don't think a duty has to stop those sort of things, really. I don't love Keyleth or Vex any less.
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