[buzen is making his rounds - since it's the medbay specifically, he sort of expected it to be crowded. made especially clear as he heads in with some snacks and tea
when he sees vax he'll nod his head before going to sit next to him]
Vax-san.
... asking if you're okay seems a little - wrong. [no one's really okay] But... how are you feeling?
[ no one is really okay!!! everything is terrible!!!
still, the effort is appreciated. at this point he also has a bag of chips so people just keep bringing him snacks, which is very nice? vax scooches over just a little to make room so buzen can sit, and huffs. ]
...think considering the circumstances, 'm alright. I can't say it's the first time I've seen something like that.
[ pffft that gets a real, genuine laugh out of him immediately, and he ducks his head. ]
Appreciate that. [ please his booze ] Feel like I need a pint or five after that.
[ but he will take the teacup anyway! tea is fine, too. he's sort of used to this, and the cup's warm and familiar in his palm; vax takes a sip as he listens to buzen. ]
...'s the same for me. [ death is a friend to vax'ildan, after all. ] Can't say I didn't think this was coming the whole time. Just didn't expect it like that.
Hah, you could always ask Crow-san or Suki, I bet.
[heliotropes your booze. but buzen will just listen thoughtfully even as he takes his own sippy]
... I had a bad feeling, ever since what happened to us.
I've never even known hate, and they made me feel it. Contempt, bitterness, warped me into something I'm not - it's like they melted my steel into what they wanted.
Birdie's brought me one or two. [ crow solidarity: sharing shiny things
anyway, vax glances at him out of the corner of his eyes as he speaks, thoughtful. ]
I did too. [ re: the bad feeling, anyway. ] Almost sucks more for you guys - at least we're used to it.
[ his swords :( ]
...This place - whatever it is doing, whatever it did to Kazuma, it used the same thing against us when we disappeared, too. Right down to fighting people we cared about to the death where one of them couldn't stop themselves. Kinda shit designed to break people.
... it's good for us to learn new things. But I wish that it would happen naturally. I'm not against the idea of hatred - I just don't know if I want it forced upon me.
[sort of like what happened to kazuma and ryu, he imagines. he frowns, feeling more than a little sour]
Yeah. Vin mentioned a similar thing to me. It'll make it harder for people to trust each other too.
[ trust is such a funny word. such an important, fragile little thing, so easily broken, so hard to make. it's always been that way for vax; maybe because of that he's lucky that he's been brought to this fucked up place with people he cares for. or maybe, maybe that just makes it worse.
vin's name visibly makes him react, brows knitting together in concern for a moment, but he doesn't say anything of it, just looking down at the tea. ]
Guess that's the point. Place wants to suck us in, eat us alive. Split the party, makes it easier to pick them off.
and then he just shrugs and leans back a little - ]
So we make it impossible, right? We stick together stubbornly, and don't let anyone get left behind. No matter what comes, we accept it, even if it's hard to look at... and endure it together.
At least - that's what I know about hopeless situations.
Sometimes it makes a difference just to have someone at your side.
[ buzen really out here saying this otome game shit i love him
that optimism feels familiar - vax can't help the wry sort of smile that comes onto his face. maybe it's less misguided than his own, but that's what he thinks, too. ]
Yeah. Could do worse, far as comrades go. [ heh. ] We're a bunch of assholes, but, maybe we can pull it off.
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when he sees vax he'll nod his head before going to sit next to him]
Vax-san.
... asking if you're okay seems a little - wrong. [no one's really okay] But... how are you feeling?
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still, the effort is appreciated. at this point he also has a bag of chips so people just keep bringing him snacks, which is very nice? vax scooches over just a little to make room so buzen can sit, and huffs. ]
...think considering the circumstances, 'm alright. I can't say it's the first time I've seen something like that.
What about you?
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[yea
as for what he thinks....]
... this is a little more familiar to me. It feels like war. All the death. Different in ways I don't like but -
Well, I can handle stuff like this better than the solving and the mysteries. So it's just making sure everyone else is okay. That's what I do.
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Appreciate that. [ please his booze ] Feel like I need a pint or five after that.
[ but he will take the teacup anyway! tea is fine, too. he's sort of used to this, and the cup's warm and familiar in his palm; vax takes a sip as he listens to buzen. ]
...'s the same for me. [ death is a friend to vax'ildan, after all. ] Can't say I didn't think this was coming the whole time. Just didn't expect it like that.
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[heliotropes your booze. but buzen will just listen thoughtfully even as he takes his own sippy]
... I had a bad feeling, ever since what happened to us.
I've never even known hate, and they made me feel it. Contempt, bitterness, warped me into something I'm not - it's like they melted my steel into what they wanted.
So... what more for humans?
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anyway, vax glances at him out of the corner of his eyes as he speaks, thoughtful. ]
I did too. [ re: the bad feeling, anyway. ] Almost sucks more for you guys - at least we're used to it.
[ his swords :( ]
...This place - whatever it is doing, whatever it did to Kazuma, it used the same thing against us when we disappeared, too. Right down to fighting people we cared about to the death where one of them couldn't stop themselves. Kinda shit designed to break people.
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... it's good for us to learn new things. But I wish that it would happen naturally. I'm not against the idea of hatred - I just don't know if I want it forced upon me.
[sort of like what happened to kazuma and ryu, he imagines. he frowns, feeling more than a little sour]
Yeah. Vin mentioned a similar thing to me. It'll make it harder for people to trust each other too.
Or... want to trust at all.
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vin's name visibly makes him react, brows knitting together in concern for a moment, but he doesn't say anything of it, just looking down at the tea. ]
Guess that's the point. Place wants to suck us in, eat us alive. Split the party, makes it easier to pick them off.
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and then he just shrugs and leans back a little - ]
So we make it impossible, right? We stick together stubbornly, and don't let anyone get left behind. No matter what comes, we accept it, even if it's hard to look at... and endure it together.
At least - that's what I know about hopeless situations.
Sometimes it makes a difference just to have someone at your side.
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that optimism feels familiar - vax can't help the wry sort of smile that comes onto his face. maybe it's less misguided than his own, but that's what he thinks, too. ]
Yeah. Could do worse, far as comrades go. [ heh. ] We're a bunch of assholes, but, maybe we can pull it off.
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that makes him laugh - a bunch of assholes?]
Really? I think most people here are pretty nice... I think that's why it's even easier for me to have faith.
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[ very playful, teasing, elbowing at him! ]
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Why wouldn't I? You're a pretty clearly kind person, Vax-san...